Tags
anxiety, anxious, comfortable, depressed, depression, expression, feelings, ideas, mental illness, rain, serenity
When the rain pours
is when I can think
the serenity of the sound
clears my mind
and stops my heart’s perpetual pound.
13 Wednesday May 2015
Tags
anxiety, anxious, comfortable, depressed, depression, expression, feelings, ideas, mental illness, rain, serenity
When the rain pours
is when I can think
the serenity of the sound
clears my mind
and stops my heart’s perpetual pound.
07 Thursday May 2015
Posted anxiety, depression
inTags
anxiety, anxious, boys, brain, confusing, depressed, depression, expression, feelings, identity, mental illness, questioning, questions, relationships, sex
– Hating myself
– Thinking about every stupid thing I’ve ever one
– Overthinking everything
– Liking boys that don’t like me back
– Being single
– Wondering why I am single
– Noting all my flaws
– And of course, worrying.
05 Tuesday May 2015
Posted anxiety, depression, Therapy
inso I started seeing a psychologist 9 months ago, and for the whole time I’ve been going once a week. As of late it seemed as though I was starting to cope better so we spaced the sessions out to fortnightly as of this week (so I’m not supposed to go until next week). But now I’m not coping, I wish I could get through a week by myself without the help of others but I feel like I need to book an appointment for this week so that I can calm down. Nothing is working to make me feel better.
How often do any of you guys normally go? Is it weird to continue goin weekly?
05 Tuesday May 2015
Posted anxiety, depression
inTags
anxiety, anxious, brain, depressed, depression, empty, expression, feelings, GAD, mental illness, panic, this sucks, thoughts, worthless
It annoys me that I don’t know what causes these feelings most of the time.. There isn’t always a “trigger”.
It started yesterday, just all of a sudden I literally felt like shit out of no where. The thoughts started racing, its like my brain is fighting with itself. Worrying about uni, performing, money, failure, pleasing people, my weight, why I don’t have a boyfriend, and god knows what else.
So that’s the anxiety.
Then the worrying brings on the depression. I spend the night thinking about how worthless and pathetic I am becauseI can’t even control my thoughts. It’s MY BRAIN, I should be able to control it, but I can’t, and it stresses me out.
I wish it was easy. I wish my thoughts would just stop flaring up all of a sudden. I was having a normal day then BAM.
This sucks.
03 Sunday May 2015
Posted anxiety
inAnxiety often feels like I have so many thoughts running through my head that I can’t differentiate one from another.
These thoughts can be about almost ANYTHING.
I think this will take me a few posts to get through but let’s start with the main one.
My main problem is health anxiety. So basically, I’m terrified about getting sick, or having a disease without knowing, and dying. I literally can’t even hear the word cancer without sending myself in to a state of panic. I worked in a hospital pharmacy for a while and these ended up being a breaking point for me. I would see sick people, serve them, and then break down because I had convinced myself that I was also suffering from their disease. It got to the point where I couldn’t eat before work and was vomiting every morning before my shift because I was in such an anxious state that I couldn’t cope. So I left this job.
I’ve gotten a bit better, so most of the time I’m ok with this part now. But I used to be so afraid of dying that I couldn’t sleep in fear that I wouldn’t wake up. I now realise this fear is completely illogical as I have had tests and go to the doctor regularly and I know that I am healthy, so I’m just trying to accept that this fear is just something in my head that isn’t backed up by reality.
03 Sunday May 2015
Posted anxiety, depression, music
inTags
anxiety, anxious, blog, depressed, depression, expression, feelings, for me, mental illness, music, musician, new beginnings, new blog, starting out
So I wanted to set up this blog for me. For a change I’m not doing this for anyone else.
I am using this as a space to express my feelings when I go through phases of anxiety and depression, and to order my thoughts. But I also want to use this as a space to share my music experiences.
I really hope that anyone who may experience the same things as me will get in contact in some way, or even if you just like what I’m writing feel free to say hi!